It has been a while since I've sat down to write. It felt Ok to step away for a bit. I got distracted. With what? Life, I guess.
I recently got back from a trip to Europe. My spiritual teacher took a group up there for a healing journey. I decided to join him and help him. As I was busy booking my flight, looking into different options to fly, a few options routed me through Amsterdam. One even gave me a 23 hour layover in Amsterdam. Normally one would delete that option really quickly. because who would want to sit in an airport for that long, waiting for a flight? "Perfect!" I thought to myself. I've always wanted to see Amsterdam. I will plan to stay a night there. And not only that, I will make sure to do the same on the way back.
The idea kept spinning around in my head, and I felt stronger and stronger about the idea of spending some time there. I even looked up staying two nights. I ended up with a night stay there, and a night stay on my way back.
During my stay and travels to Europe, I realized something big. I receive so much information through my travels. Something change. I change. Something inside shifts. It's like there are many treasures for me in this life. They are neatly placed all over the world, for me to go and find. Once I discover one, I can take it, and prosper from it. Information about who I truly am, underneath this body. Underneath the surface.
Those parts get lost in the hustle of life, far away from my conscious awareness.
Traveling brings me back to myself. I have nothing to distract myself with, and so my senses have free reign. They are taking me out of the part of my mind that stays stuck in the 'doing' and 'making a living' and it makes me receive what is around me. When I travel to a new place, I get mesmerized with my surroundings. It keeps my attention on whats present. The old buildings, the stone walls, the writings against the walls, the street signs, the foreign sounds from a different culture and language. The smells of food, other than what I am used to.
And then I get awe struck looking at the artchitecture and landscape of the unique culture.
Setting foot in Amsterdam, I knew I was home. I have never been there before. Well, not in this body anyhow. It was very familiar. The food, the people, and my surroundings. It just felt like I was home. I walked and walked and walked. I stared at buildings, people and the life around me. And then there were the canals. The waterways. Wow. So beautiful, and all the buildings against the water. It was like I was living inside a fairytale. Maybe I was.
My trip took me through Verona and also Venice. Of course Venice just didn't seem real to me. It was so hard for my mind to believe that such a city actually exists. I have no words. Again I walked, and walked and walked, till I just could't walk anymore. And I would push through, and walk more. At one point, when I finally gave my body a bit of rest, sipping a delicious coffee, and eating a croissant. I knew, that traveling is something that is very necessary for my evolution as a human being. It is something I simply have to make space for, create the means for, and make happen, a few times a year. It is so deeply fulfilling and enriching, that it reminds me, that for this reason alone, my life is worth it. To EXPERIENCE life in this way. To take myself out of what I know, and place myself into an environment I have never been to, and let my senses play.
And as I FEEL all the information coming through my senses, I wake up, and realize that now I am alive. And as this occupy my awareness, my mind stills. And so intuition seems to heighten. I feel like I am a child of the world. Not a city. Or a family. And so I need to go and see the world, the place I belong to. And share myself with it, as it shares itself with me. We teach each other things, by being present with one another. Just by making the choice to show up, to take the trip. To go on adventures. This way, we get to learn where we belong. And who we are. And which gifts sits dormant inside us.
We have so much more to offer this world than what we know, from the level of the mind. And so to broaden our ability to see, to expand our ability to create, envision, we must go to places that elevate our way of envisioning.
On my second stop back to Amsterdam, the night before I headed back to LA. I stood on a bridge, over looking a canal. Just simply staring at it. Taking in the colors, the buildings, the beauty of it, and seeing the history in it. I heard a question inside my head. "Why did I visit these cities, both with so much water in it?" Ah! And it hit me.... the waterways and the canals!! I have an intimate understanding around them. It is not the first time we're meeting. And in that moment, my whole body lid up with electricity. I felt like I was being electrocuted. Energy spiraling all over my body. And it confirmed to me that yes, I was in fact, in an area presently, I once called home. I once helped created, and help built. I had part of the creation of such a land,. and of such a waterway.
Wow. I stood there for a while still, waiting for the energetic pulses to slow down in my body, and then I turned, and made my way back to my hotel. I found myself deep inside myself. Like the sounds and life around me was very far away. I was a little in shock. Trying to process what just happened. And I understood in that moment why it felt so vastly important for me to visit Amsterdam. Of course my visit there wasn't long enough. It was just a little tease. And I desperately wanted more.
Early the next morning, my walk to the train station was slow. Reluctant. I just didn't want to go. I felt sad. Can it be that I was feeling SAD? Sad to leave a city that I only saw for two days? A city, not a person, or friends, or any of that. But merely a city. Fascinating I thought. I knew walking to the station, that there is just so much more information there for me. And for now, it will have to wait.
And that is a hard one for me. This patience thing. I am not big on it.
Now home for a couple of weeks. I have read up more about this city. And the more I read the more I want to know. The more I am creating space for us to reconnect again soon.
Life is just so mysterious. There is magic around each corner. Interactions with strangers, that might not be strange, but familiar in fact. A bench or a park or a street, might be a place you've left many footprints in some part of your existence. Places around the world are most definitely holy for me in that way.
I came back with a new energy inside myself. I gift from the trip for sure. Something inside that was always there, just hidden. And so i thirst to bring light to more parts of me that are hidden. i can't wait to know more feel more and experience more. To expand bigger and bigger. To claim more and more of what has always been. Just not always so present when the mind is running the show.
So here is to many more of these incredible doorways that I will walk through. Portals that'll take me deeper into myself. Life is full of mystery. and i am ready to jump into the dark and claim more of it.
Anyone care to join me?