I've come to realize that most people that get introduced to Breath work begins to shift their lives in a more positive, higher vibrational direction. Magic begins to happen. When I started my journey with breath work about 7 years ago, I was pretty miserable and stuck in my life. Many scary shifts were taking place, and all I wanted to do was run away. Back to South Africa! It felt like 'the right thing' to do at the time.
And later I realized that I wanted to run away from my life and go back to a time when things were better. It just seemed impossible for me to find stability and joy then and it felt super scary. I was so wrong.
After a few months of moving through a phase that was probably the biggest shift in my life to date, and I have had quite a few, I landed in this particular breath work class, with this particular teacher, David Elliott, that was about to change my life forever.
Little did I knew then what I was getting myself into. That my life was about to take a 180 degree shift!
I have seen this now, in my life, and others around me, over and over again. We meet or sometimes even crash into a person, or a place, or an experience, when we are in most need of it. At a time when our life needed to be shaken up, and we needed to shift direction, sometimes rapidly.
Well, this was about to go down. It was around Feb 2010.
We sat in a very big circle, and one by one we said our name, and our intention for the evening, before we were to lay down, and to this breath work thing. It was my turn to speak, and as I started, something strange happened. I looked over at the teacher, and there was a comfort, and a familiarity. Like we have done this for many many years together in the past.
I remembered cracking a joke, and laughing while talking. I was so comfortable speaking that night, in front of so many strangers, like they were all my best friends. And little did I knew that they all were about to become my best friends. I was there, by no accident I came to realize the next day.
We started our breath work journey, and something began moving through me. My mind was literally blown away by this experience. I didn't understood it at the time. And of course I wont, as I was trying to figure it out from my limited mind space at the time. I didn't feel safe to allow myself to surrender control. I did that once, about 5 years prior in a meditation, and left my body, and it took me about a week to ground. I got so freaked out, and didn't know what was going on.
After the breath work ended and made my way up to a seated position, I just sat there for a moment. I didn't know what had just happened, and I knew at the time that I wanted more. That I discovered something I didn't knew excited, and all of a sudden I knew I couldn't live without it. I signed up for a training that next day, and came in for it the following week. It was a two day training, that felt like a month.
I used to laugh a lot during the years saying to people that David has a way of bending time. It's true. He makes time stand still.
What I walked away with after those 2 days, was more I could digest, grasp, and even begin to write about here. More than I have ever experienced at the time in my whole existence in this life. I knew that life was different. I was different. And It will never be the same again. I have tasted something I wanted more of, and more and more.
What was that? Oh, I realized, it was ME. It's my beingness. My soul. My heart. It's the energy of love that sits deep within my heart. It's the most TRUEST form of me. It's the part of me I have given up a long time ago, to survive, to feel safe, and to protect myself. Since then I have taken every training, and retreat for about 7 years and counting. I fully immersed myself into the work, into myself, and into the deeper parts of life.
Shedding layer and layer of falsities to discover the light, the healer, the messenger, and the specialness of my being.
And all of a sudden, EVERYTHING shifted.
I signed up for a trip to Tuscany Italy right after the first training, and I went by myself with this group of amazing new friends. I have never spent money on myself, and never so much! I stepped out of a long time relationship, and had no idea how i was going to survive, on all levels. Financially, in solitude, without my partner, needing to do everything for myself, by myself, with myself. THE thing I was trying to avoid my whole life.
Because I never truly knew at the time, I existed, unless someone was able to validate my existence, literally that I existed, or see my value, or see I am lovable, or to keep me safe. The next 7 years has taken me or journeys inside myself that I never thought possible. I discovered my body, that it is safe to live inside it.
I discovered mother earth. That she is here for nourishment and protection. I discovered wisdom inside me that is not from this time. That I have so much to share. That there are people out there that are in need of what I have to offer. That I am a messenger. A teacher. A mentor. That I can channel write. That I am an artist. I've discovered that living by myself, in solitude, is pure empowerment, liberation, and magical.
Getting to a point in my life when I have less of a NEED for anything outside myself, to be happy, is the most powerful gift I could ever gifted myself. I grew into myself. And discover a deeper truth that all I needed, is already inside myself. That I am badass, and spending time with myself is the biggest gift I can ever give myself.
I grew into a teacher that teaches from life experience, more than from a book or a training. And yes, I've done plenty of those too. I've learnt that it's ok to love myself, and to do nice things for myself. I've learnt that it's safe to let others see me. That I can begin to accept who I am, and then allow others to be who they are. I've learnt it is safe for me to speak my truth, and to share wisdoms with others.
I have learnt that everything I see, judge, or love in another, is how I feel and what I see about myself. I have learnt that everything in my life is a mirror. And how I respond to it, is a great indication of where I am at with it, in my own life. I have learnt its ok to open my heart, and allow others to love me, and to receive support. To ask for what I want. I have learnt to surrender into uncertainty, into the unknown, into the mystery.
I have learnt to tap into my innate intuition, to listen, to feel, and to trust that part of myself more than my my mind.
I discovered that I can liberate myself from my own suffering, let go of old energies, and traumas. To heal. That myself and others.
I have discovered that I am safe in this life. That I can let others in, and let them truly see me. Hear me, and feel me. Throughout all my discoveries, I have noticed that people, students and clients have gravitated towards me, who need healing, information, guidance, wisdom, inspiration and simply love. Particularly around the topics and themes I have had intimate healing experiences around. Yes, we are all mirrors of each other.
And I have discovered the immense feeling of being high on life, when I can share healing space, or wisdom, or be a mirror for someone, and how it can change their lives, and how my life, and what I have gone through, has been so incredibly worth it, because when I become a witness of this alchemy in others, and see others shift, it shift something in me to.
And then being a witness of joy, and love spreading through my being. That is so immense, so powerful, and so radical.
Because being a witness, and having this feeling rushing through my being, is more powerful than anything I have ever experienced in my life. When love re-awakens, and pulse through your body, you begin to feel alive once more.
The journey continues. The unfolding of brilliance is unfolding in each one of us on this planet. Sometimes we have to get pushed, to begin to wake up, to discover, to remember, to allow, to shift, and in the end, we look back with a big smile and a heart full of love. This year has been unpredictable. It is a year of new beginnings.
Daily life pushes us to say yes to the new, the unchartered, the unspoken, the unknown. So we can expand more into ourselves. So we can remember our divinity. That we already are badass. Just need to strip the structures, and the limited belief systems, and small minded existence we choose to live in. To see it.
This all because of BREATH WORK.
I met my teacher. I met myself. And now I get to meet YOU! I am grateful for my journey. For each one I get to meet and share a moment with. To be a beacon, a mirror, a guide, a friend, a lover, a teacher... and a space holder for magic. Wanna be part of this revolution consciously that is already happening inside you? Meet me in a yoga class, or breath work class, or for a personal one-on-one healing session.