Love seemed to have knocked on my door and this time I opened. It came in silently with a force that hit so hard it gave me a heart concussion.
It spun me round and round till it dropped me on to a foreign land. I don't recognize where I'm at. Yet it feels like home. I am home in a foreign land. I see Impressions of what's to come written in a language from an earlier time.
A longing has been answered. I've never felt so lost and joyful at the same time. This type of lost I welcome with open arms. Lost in the deeper layers of my heart. A falling into love. I finally gave up the fight to resist this beauty from flowing in. It came unannounced, even in the face of anticipation. It came and re-arranged my life.
Spinning. I'm spinning. I will have to see in which direction the arrow will face once the turning, round and round comes to a halt.
This one is a game changer. Can I permit the player inside to play in this new game of enchantment and bliss? And forget about the agendas the smaller one has in store? I feel it's confusion pressing against my heart.
Life has brought me what I've longed for my whole life. A contract in you, I see. Bound together by a love that is much greater than us. Something magnetized us towards each other, and so, here we stand.
Facing each other. What do one do when your biggest wish arrived after thirty four years of longing?
A whisper in my ear. "Receive it, you're ready!" Is what I hear...
Paralyzed by its beauty and power. So deeply fulfilling to the eyes of mine. I know you. Intimately. From forever, till now, and into eternity.
I am receiving you standing here before me. Receiving you in your magnitude. Stay grounded I desperately try to remind myself. Or may I float into the clouds, and enjoy this package at my doorstep? Enjoy this newfound beauty for a moment or two? Letting go of my grip of what should be done. Let go and feel. Let go and receive. Let go and allow. Just let go.
I welcome each tear, each heartache, each lonely hour, each painful encounter for it prepared me for you. I have become the love I see before me. Meeting, merging in equality.
Am I awake in my own dream?
The space you're creating in this union, will guide me into deep, deep surrender. Towards a love that I've never experienced before. A love that is so big, I will get lost in it. This love will demand my ego to surrender. There is no choice.
I missed you. I have always loved you. Welcome home inside my heart!